I mostly wanted to check in and say how proud I am of myself for getting everything done that I said I would! Thats when I realized that this could work, I might be able to persuade myself to do many great things if I just say that I will do it on here. I would feel to defeated if I were to admit I had actually failed....We are on to something here.
Anyways, in short. I went to the midwife today and when she asked me how I was feeling, instead of being a coward and sayng "I'm ok", I actually broke down and cried and told her how I feel she told me to talk to family doctor and most importantly, to try to find some social network so that I don't lose myself. So I am one step ahead with the blog thing. Going to look for some other ways to get myself out and maybe meet new people? lol sounds so difficult at this point, especially because I don't have the easiest access to a vehicle at all times. But I do think geting out at talking to people about how I feel and validating that I have a problem will help me get better. I felt great today after only a 10 minute conversation.
When I was leaving there was a pregnant mama waiting to go in and we struck up a conversation. She seemed awesome. Had a toddler around the same age as mine, due with her second in 2 weeks. Like minded parenting. I left the office feeling very sad that I cannot connect with people in a way that I wish I could. I mean, I would have loved to be like "heres my number call me when you are ready to socialize after your baby!" but how does one do that? So I decided that I need a Mom card. Like a business card, but with my personal info on it. To give to moms, I meet so I can make friends. Lol. While this is not on my list of things to do tomorrow, it certainly will happen before the summer days and trips to the park!
As far as everything I said I would do....
I came home and I organized my caft drawer and got all of my materials ready for my project life 2012!! I actually have a lot more than I thought, and I think I can pull off something unique and creative and not out of the box like some people who just got that Becky Higgins or whoever's kit to do it. Lol.
And can you believe it, I went to the bank, got my ink cartridges refilled AND went and bought Makaio clothes as well (he outgrew everything overnight I swear!!)
Then this evening I wrote out 5 pages of my birth story, but I'm only half way there. Not finished, but I still consider it a task finsihed because I at least got a whole lot more done than I would have if I didn't do it. lol. I want to post it here, obviously I will when I finish, warning its probably going to be close to 10 pages, but most likely worth the read if you like birth stories as much as I do.
Tomorrow, I have no plans, except to finish my birth story. I also want to accomplish the goal of getting into my bed before 3 am. We will see how that one goes.... I know that there was something else that I wanted to state here so that I know I will get it done..but I have forgotten...
So... on that note.
I will somehow check in tomorrow. Here is to hoping that I have another happy-ish day.
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