My Crib....[not my house, the thing the baby is supposed to sleep in...]

*Sigh*

Sidenote: before I get into this post, I went to this site which generates a “tweet cloud” and in mine, one of the words I tweet the most…..is *sigh*….LOL…I got to get over myself.

So. My crib.

Its not even a crib. Its a pack ‘n play. Its like something inside me knew that I wasn’t really going to use it so we opted for the least expensive option, as well as the smallest…since we only had one bedroom which we would all be sharing, [which at the time, I didn't know, by definition, that also counts as co-sleeping...so I was a cosleeper from the beginning, and I didn't even know it..:D] and this room barely held our own bed..so smallest crib was best idea. We would have gotten a bassinet. But figured a pack ‘n play can actually be used until the baby is 2 or 3, so it will pay itself off in the long run.

ANYWAYS….

So, N has slept in the crib for one entire night [not straight through, but meaning I actually put her down in it after I fed her during the night] This one attempt at the sleeping in the crib was probably when she was about a month or so, after I confessed to my Mom that I was still sleeping with her. She told me that I had to start to put her in her crib to “get her used to it” or else ” I would regret it” [not actual quotes of course, but something along those lines of anti-co-sleeping.] so I had a feeble attempt at trying to get her to sleep in it…which she did…but she just woke up WAY more.

The day N was born, we brought her home, and when we were finally ready to settle in for the night, I was all gung-ho to put her in the crib, it was G who said “lets sleep with her between us. she is too small to sleep in there”, so we did. and as any mom or dad would know, this first night didn’t involve very much actual sleep anyways. After the first day or two, G started to encourage the crib again, plus I was terrified of him rolling on her [and also at this point had not yet learned that I could breastfeed in the side-laying position. Newborns seemed so fragile to me at the time (because they are!) and I figured they always had to be held or swaddled while fed.] So I would usually nurse her down to sleep and then place her in the crib. Of course, I would be waking every hour or so to nurse her, when I was done I would burp her on my chest. Eventually I would lay down with her on my chest because she would still be awake and only seemed to be soothed when I patted her back. So, I would lay there, pat her back, and pass out. I would wake up to her searching for boob, I would sit up, nurse her, and end up falling back asleep again while I laid down trying to burp/soothe her.

At first I was terrified at the fact that I had actually fallen asleep while she was LAYING ON MY CHEST! Was this okay? Surely it couldn’t be, was what I thought. I had seen the co-sleeper bassinets and such for beds, but had never heard of a baby sleeping on someones chest before. Not at night at least, and not while the person was sleeping themselves.

I googled obsessively “Sleeping with baby on chest” or “I feel asleep with my baby on me” or “blog about sleeping with baby on chest” I was desperate to find SOME sort of indication that I was doing something right. ..

Why I wouldn’t just follow my motherly instinct…I’m not sure… regardless, I found nothing on the internet, and was pretty sure that “What to Expect When You are Expecting” wasn’t going to have a page, let alone a sentence, about sleeping with your baby on your chest. Despite the fact that I felt guilty about this sleeping arrangement, I would still do it. She never once rolled off, my hands were always on her when I woke up, and I got more sleep than I did when I put her in the crib. [plus not to mention the fact that it was just sooo extremely comfortable!]

One visit with my midwife encouraged me to try the side laying position while breastfeeding as another option of cosleeping. Despite the fact that I was co-sleeping, I was still sitting up to nurse the baby. [A HUGE inconvienience now that I look back, I actually had to WAKE UP. Geesh. How did I survive?!]

So one night when I was really tired and had to feed, I went to the bed, laid down and fed N. It was wonderful. I was relaxed. I could rest and feed! who knew?!

Of course the first thing G says is “Is that safe?”….to which I responded “why wouldn’t it be?”….I think he forgot about the fact that he was the one who had in fact suggested co-sleeping in the first place..and how was this any different, I was just sleeping with my boob out

*sigh* and the rest is history. Even the crib.

We moved out of the house we brought N home to when she was 4 months old. Since we have been living here, I have placed her in the crib twice. Once was for 2 minutes while I straighted out the sheets, and the other time, I placed her in it for about an hour, just so I could get some sleep on my stomach [because WOW, do I EVER miss sleeping on my stomach :/]

So yesterday, I rearranged the room so that we could bring in a single mattress for G to sleep on. He has been sleeping on the couch for about a month because he is always afraid that he is going to wake up the baby, so to solve this problem, we brought him in his own bed so he won’t have to worry about disturbing her and I also wont have to worry about him rolling on her or anything like that. [its funny, now that he is back in the room, I kinda wish he was still on the couch because he SNORES SO LOUD, and I get a much better sleep when I dont have to kick him every 5 min, LOL, but still love his presence. ].With the rearranging, I had to place the crib at the end of the bed, and now my closet barely opens…..and I thought to myself…”Should I just take it down?”..and despite the fact that I know chances are I am never going to use it [even when we do transfer N to her own bed, we figure we can just get a kids frame for the single mattress G is sleeping on now] So realllly, she is never going to use it..and when she does have her own bed, it will just be a toddler bed. No crib needed.

So why don’t I take it down?

Probably because I’m such a wimp and actually worry about what people are going to think about me. Its already awkward enough trying to explain where the baby sleeps. Sometimes I just say “in her crib” and use the explaination that she doesn’t have her own room because “our 2nd bedroom is across the house and I don’t want to have to get up during the night”.

The worst was trying to explain to people where she slept during the days that she slept on my chest.

“So where does the baby sleep?”

“On my chest..”

*awkward pause*

“Your chest?…?”

So I guess I keep the crib up because I want people to *think* that we use it. I don’t want people to get all up in my business. Its hard enough being a nursing mother of a baby who can crawl onto my lap and ask for boob….let alone being “the mom who sleeps with her baby”

The funnier thing, which I thought about the other day while nursing, was that my family can’t even give me slack. Although none of them actually slept with their babies, or even roomed with them for that matter, some are still co-sleepers.

Take my Grandma for the first example. I used to spend countless nights at her house after my younger [by 6 1/2 years] twin sisters were born. I remember often during the night I would either call out her name, or go into her room and ask her to come and sleep with me….and she did. So she part-time co-slept with me.

My Mom is another great example. Shes made comments about not being able to get N out of my bed, and blah blah blah…yet, although she didn’t co-sleep with them at a young age…my 17 year old sisters still usually end up in bed with her. So she is a co-sleeper…and she tells me I’m going to have issues getting N out of my bed?….Maybe its because she knows that she has 17 year olds who sleep with her.. LOL

Sooooo. I’m going to keep my crib up. At least for a couple more days. Until I get really mad that I can’t put laundry away with ease…not to mention it just takes up a whole bunch of space that could easily be used for something else…like laundry…

And thats my story.

I really hope that someone gets a hit to my blog by googling “baby sleeping on chest” because then maybe they will know that IT IS OK. I only wish that I could have found a blog post with reference to this after N was born. Would have given me a piece of mind. [and if you are a co-sleeper..please comment about your experience with your crib. Did you ever get one? What did you do with it? I need to know! ]

Anyhoo,

Peace out, yo.

11 ways Twitter Mamas saved my life

Blackberry.

I think first and foremost I have to thank RIM for creating the Blackberry, getting all my friends and family addicted, and then persuading me to get one for myself because of the ease of which I could share pictures through Blackberry Messenger. For those of you who own a Crackberry, I don’t really need to explain myself further. For those who don’t. Go get one. Not an Iphone 4 or some random smart phone…Get a Blackberry [Which I will now refer to as my BB]. If it weren’t for my BB, I never would have found…

Twitter.

I remember back when I took a course called “Information and Technology in Society” [for the first time, I had to take it twice, first time resulted in an EPIC FAIL, but that's another story...] during one of our tutorials [mini-class separate from lecture - for those of you who aren't familiar ] We discussed Twitter. It had just been created. I had only just recently jumped on the Facebook bandwagon, and my exposure to the awesomeness of social media was limited. I still didn’t understand the point of the tool.

Why would someone want to know what you are doing at every second of every day?

Those were exactly the words that came out of my mouth. :/ We all laughed, made fun of it, carried on…etc. etc.

I don’t remember exactly how twittering became a topic in my life, but it did, which was when I was pregnant. I’m pretty sure a co-worker and I were making fun of something or another…and I came home laughing about twittering stuff to my DH. Not really the point, continuing. Then one day DH was driving me to work, and I was complaining about the obvious [I was 7ish months pregnant and need not explain why If you have been-there-done-that-got-the-t-shirt.] and he goes on to say “My body aches every day, every muscle, every bone, I’m dying. Twitter that“.

Cue: INSANE LAUGHTER and an inside joke that has lasted a year. Every time something happens, I say “Oooh, TWITTER THAT!”…the funny thing is now I actually mean it.

Fast forward to the day I got my BB. May 27th, 2010. I signed up for Twitter, mainly because it had an app already installed. So I figured why not try it out?

At first it was my politician and celeb stalking tool. [Now its a mom-stalking-tool...] And then I discovered lists. Decided to search Breastfeeding and Attachment Parenting lists. Found a lot more than I was expecting. Went to one.

INSTA-FOLLOW-HEAVEN.

I had always tried to keep my tweets to a minimal amount of things, since most of my [then] followers were politician-y people and whatnot. Why would they want to hear about my obsessive rants about parenting, breastfeeding, and etc? [Bless those who still follow me to this day, and converse with me. Some say they are reliving their lives through me, which makes me happy, in a weird Twitter stalker kind of way.. ] So as I started to follow and converse with these mamas who were on this “breastfeeding” list….my life changed.

LITERALLY. TWITTER SAVED MY LIFE.

Not that it was really about to end, and needed to be saved…..okay lets try that again…

TWITTER SAVED MY LIFE SANITY.

It saved my sanity. Pre-Twitter days, I would obsessively Google for blogs, or forums, where I could find other women who were LIKE ME. I had especially never heard of anything about sleeping with your baby [except obviously the dangers, never the plus side...] So I was on a frantic search to find ANYONE or ANYTHING that would make me feel more comfortable doing what I was doing. I don’t like playing the “my baby does this” or “my baby does that” kind of game with moms, but finding a blog or forum or SOMETHING, that gave me affirmation that I wasn’t crazy was what I needed most.

I needed support.

And its funny, because rrreeeeeaallly, you think that you would first turn to those around you, like family and friends for support. But in my case. No one in my family co-slept [they told me it was a "bad idea" and that "I will regret it"], hardly anyone Breastfed for that long [or at least would say they couldn't remember when they stopped, and would rarely converse about it without awkwardness...]. I only have one real friend who has a baby, and shes the opposite to me [c-section instead of natural birth, formula instead of breastfeeds, doesn't own a baby carrier, uses a soother, uses disposible diapers....can't get more contrasting than that...OH she even has a boy, and I have a girl!] which means that I can’t really talk to her about anything…

So in come the twitter moms.

Let me tell you why I love them.

1. They don’t judge you for anything you rant about [those who do, just stop following you, and they frankly, can go fuck themselves...LOL]

2. They can give you quick answers to unexpected parenting questions

3. They give you constant reminders that you aren’t alone

4. They make me laugh, cry, and think about things I haven’t thought about

5. They have taught me things I didn’t know

6. They reach out to those in need

7. They help me make decisions in life about almost everything

8. They Google things for me when I don’t have the time

9. I can talk about my boobs as much as I want, and no one gets grossed out

10. They are there for me when I’m being a bored SAHM Mom with nothing to do…

AND

11. They inspire me to do more and do better things in life

I’m going to keep it short and sweet just like that.

Plus the babe just woke up. [EDIT: okay, she just took a deep breath, not awake yet...]

And now you know how Twitter Moms save my sanity [and therefore, my life ] Not to mention all the other cool followers who stick around to hear about my adventures in being a first time AP mom….

Until Next Time.

R. Xoxo

Sorry....I can't help but stare at your nipple

Every other Wednesday, I go to Baby Babble, as run by my local Momstown chapter. I love going. I used to be intimidated by the fact that most moms are at least 5-15 years older than me, but I’m over that now. We still have lots in common….being moms.The group usually runs from 2-4, after the infamous morning nap, and before the late afternoon “cat nap”. Around 3-3:30, the babies all start to get fussy and cry, because they are hungry. This is the only time I feel like I might want to run away and hide, and I do. I leave the room…. to be able to feel comfortable nursing my baby.

Why?

Because I’m the only 1 of 2 moms who openly breastfeed [thats 10% of all the moms who attend] and by openly breastfeed, I mean leave the room. The other 18 moms, bottle feed. I’m sure some are [what I like to refer to as] “Closet Breastfeeders”, meaning, they breastfeed, but pump to be able to use bottles when in public, sometimes I try to figure out who these moms are by the type of bottle they are using [usually pump compatible].

Sometimes the talk will be about formula sales, or switching formulas because of spitting up….and I feel so awkward. I stare at the ground and don’t make eye contact. I don’t want people to know that I breastfeed. I don’t want to be the one who can’t participate in the conversation. Because I feel that a. I don’t know enough to participate, and b. whatever I say will probably be met with more awkward stares.

I feel centered out.

This bugs me on so many levels. I shouldn’t have to leave the room when I want to feed the baby, we are all moms, its not like I could/would/should be offending anyone. Or am I? Maybe I am. I can feel the stares, and I see the looks I get when I discuss breastfeeding, or announce that I am still nursing

Maybe some Moms are mad that they didn’t get to experience what I am? or maybe they are resenting themselves a little for not trying harder? or being sad that it didn’t work for them? Who knows. I don’t even want to bring up the subject to find out the reasons why they choose not to breastfeed.Its such a controversial subject, and I hate when Moms feel like they have to defend themselves to me, just because I breastfeed and they don’t. They have to give me the list of reasons of why formula was better for them.

But I get it. I totally get it. I get defensive too.

I get defensive because I feel like I have to justify why I am breastfeeding and not using a bottle [Note: I only feel this way at this particular playgroup, and some other times with general public or co-workers, or people who don't have kids so don't really even have experience to give a proper opinion] . A lot of women just don’t understand…

But it goes both ways.

Formula moms don’t understand Breastfeeding until they have experienced it. Just like Breastfeeding moms don’t understand formula feeding….until they have experienced it.

I don’t understand formula feeding one bit…and not because I don’t get why women choose to do it. I just don’t get how it works…

How do you know how much to feed them? How do you heat it up? Do you use tap water or filtered water? Are you worried about bacteria in the bottles? How do you sterilize bottles then when you are in public? What kind of nipples to you use? How do you deal with making bottles in the middle of the night?

Those are just a few of the things that I think of when I think of formula feeding. [I'm starting to think that the word "formula" comes from the fact that you almost need a degree in effin science to understand how to do it].

Because I lack all of this knowledge, I find myself staring, when moms are preparing their bottles I stare. I stare at their nipples, some are brown, some are clear, some are long, others short…:/ I look at the what looks to me like baby cereal being mixed in with water, and I stare. I still stare when a baby sits there and drinks a bottle, while the mom holds it. It looks odd…. [In MY opinion, don't hate. ]. My eyes get all googly, and I probably give weird looks, and I can tell that people are looking at me weird, because I’m looking at them weird. Its like that look someone gets when they see something they know that they shouldn’t have…I feel like a godly-christian-type-adolescent who is witnessing two people have sex and do crack at the same time. someone witnessing a murder. catching one of your friends lovers cheating on them when you see someone naked.

I don’t know exactly to explain how or why this makes me feel so awkward…but I guess its just because I don’t understand…because I don’t use a bottle, and never have. So when I see a baby eating from a bottle…its just something I haven’t seen really…so I just stare. and I know its awkward but I just can’t help it…

Is this what people feel when they see me nursing in public? Because then I totally get it.

Me nursing in public, downtown Toronto outside of the Art Gallery of Ontario during TIFF

My life as told by Twiter Hashtags

[For those of you who use twitter you will be familiar with the hashtag and how sometimes it almost seems like the punchline to the tweet. I use Ubertwitter from my Blackberry and it saves all of your hashtags so you can refer back to them easier....one night (while nursing obviously) I scrolled through what I had saved and this is what I found...its like a funny twitter-biography of me. ]

#all the drama I can handle #and no I dont live in an igloo #are you sure I’m not pregnant #baby never cries on bus anyways #bahhhhhhhh # been there done that got the t-shirt #being a mom means living in filth #being a student mom is complicated #being one with nature #blog post #boobies #books i am reading #breastfeeding #breast milk #but really I don’t care cause I’m a mom #but you give me hope #call me crazy #cant believe I said that out loud #can you say addicted? #can you tell I’m bored #cheers to teething #cheers to that #chicken shit #clueless #coma sleep #commuting sucks #crib was such a waste of money #damn you twitter #don’t even know how it ended #don’t hate #don’t judge me #don’t know where I found this guy #don’t know why I care what people think #don’t spend it all in one place #dont you love it when #easier said than done #eating habits #eBay #fail #ftw #gaaaaaaaa #grammatically challenged #guess who is being held responsible #hardcore #hate people #healthy child #he thinks he can fix anything #holy hormones #huge mom fail #i am not pro #i cant find the words to say what i feel #i cant seem to find the time #i dont believe him #i dont want to jinx it #i hate mornings #i just have so much crap #i know im a loser dont remind me #i have no time 2 catch up #i love cosleeping anyways #im all cracked out from twitter #im a pro #im getting a pregnancy test anyways #im kind of evil in a weird mom way #im like a fish out of water #im not going to lie #im not trying to make you jealous #im pretty sure he thinks im a loser #im such a procrastinator #i must be on an ant hill #in my own head #iPhone #i should check more often #i speak from experience #is that weird #is this what school will be like? #i think its time to do laundry #i think weird things #its a bad thing #i wish i could tweet sound waves #i wish i had my own reality show # i wont listen to his crying #jokes on me #joy #jumping over fences #just sayin #kicking myself in the morning #kinda tired #late night cravings #let me live in filth #lets hope it was the soy milk #life saver #made me so mad #man im such a loser! #maybe she smells milk #men are always crank bags #men are weird #miss them #mommy time #moms going insane #more mad #Motherhood #my workout for the year #natural birthing #nerd #never judge a book by it cover #no mommy fails tonight # non vaccinating #not going to lie #not impressed #no trust for tech #now i got to brush my teeth #now that my baby can crawl #nursing #oh shit what did i get myself into #oh the joys #oh well #oh yea thats right time #oh yea thats right i met him at the bar #only in Canada #or just jealous I have friends #paint all over #pass out #play date #pmsing #ppd #pretend we didn’t notice #random hashtag #random thought #real life jeopardy #report all as spam #retro #scoreeeee #screaming and crying #shoot me now #shrug me off #shut up #single mom #sleep #sniff the cap and i’m wasted #snoring #so frustrating #some people make me wonder #so much for together time #so who gives a fuck #spaz #stink eye while im nursing #stop growing up so fast #stress out #strike #stuff my face with jalapeno and cheddar Doritos #such a violent nursing baby #teething sucks #thank god for chocolate #that sounded weird out loud #that was stress #the life of a mother # then i have heard it all #there’s always tomorrow #the things you remember while laying in bed #this doesn’t happen often #this is not good for my sanity #this is the life #Tim Hortons #tmi #too lazy to Google #toss up #touch wood #TTC #tweet deprived #tweeting from toilet #tweet life #twitter creeper #twitter drama #twitter freakout #twitter hugs #twitter mama #wanting to put every toy together #we are all in the same boat #wear their babies #wet ass #what am i eating for dinner #what it is to be a mom #what were they thinking #when i have time #while eating dinner #who needs sleep anyways #why am i so addicted #why didnt i do this months ago#wtf #yawn #yay for Google #yay for soggy cereal #yes im a nerd i wont deny it #you aren’t alone #you know what i mean #yum yum

Back to school for this Mama

*Sigh*

That is probably the best way to start off this post.

I have typed 4 different sentences and then erased them. Not sure why its so hard for me to write this post. It seems pretty simple! I started classes on Monday the 13th…. School is not something I am usually hesitant to talk about, since technically I am a HUGE nerd.

I think I just don’t know where to start because I’m not sure how much I’ve even blogged about school [besides the fact that I went through a minor dilemma with not knowing what I really wanted to do with my life: see here, here, and here] and for some reason I feel like I should be “filling you in” on whats already happened to date…. so let me try to lay it down in a simple paragraph…[as a pre-law student, "simple" and "paragraph" don't generally come up in the same sentence....I have a habit of writing long, never ending sentences to ensure that I have covered all bases....:/]

In September of 2006, I started classes at York University in hopes to work towards my undergraduate honors degree in Political Science. I commuted, so no residence or other people could interfere with my schooling, and also saved thousands of dollars. In 2008/2009 there was a LONG ass strike at my school which you can read about here. Shortly after returning to classes in April of 2009, I got pregnant [May 2009]. I took one semester during my pregnancy [from September - December 2009], which was probably my hardest semester ever, trying to balance work, school and the third trimester of a pregnancy….[writing my last exam I was a month away from my due date. It was kind of hard to concentrate because I was so afraid my water was going to break or that I would go into labour when I was a 45 min drive or 1 hour bus ride away from home :/] While I was pregnant, I was thinking of trying to go back to school during the summer, so that I wouldn’t fall that behind on credits. However, come the time I felt I was ready to jump back into school, registration for summer classes was over. So I decided to enroll for September [which is now.]. It seemed pretty far away, but alas, as most moms know, time FLEW, and suddenly I am here, already a week into classes [that means only 11 left of the semester! OMG!].

I am glad I made the decision not to wait a full year to return. I was worried about leaving the baby and having to worry about childcare and all that jazz [Especially being an AP mom made this a difficult thing to think about ]….until I remembered that there are actually a vast amount of classes which you can take online!

This semester, I’m taking it easy, and I’m only enrolled in two classes. One is called “Canadian Income Taxation” which sounds pretty boring, but I’m actually pretty interested, as I have done my own tax returns for the past 5 years. AND with the introduction of the new HST tax in Ontario, it will be especially interesting to get up to date on all the new tax laws which will be introduced….blahblahblahblah. I will shut up about this now.

The other course I am taking is called “The Political Economy of Canada”. This is also another class which seems right up my nerd-alley..Right now we are concentrating on the “Economic crash of 2008″ which is really interesting to me, because during this time, I was working in retail, and I saw some of the effects that this crash had first hand on retail sales. I’m starting to work on a paper, which is already due in a month!, and my focus is going to be the automotive industry and its prospects in light of the economic crisis. WOOT WOOT!. [I'm getting side-tracked here, becuase this was not what my original intention was to blog about....] I am more worried about this class because it is a full year course in one semester, which means double the work load in a week [two 3 hour lectures/week]…

BUT, I WILL NOT LET MYSELF FALL BEHIND, NOR WILL I USE BEING A MOM AS AN EXCUSE IF I DO.

I don’t want to pull the “but I’m a Mom card” and try to justify falling behind in any work. If anything, I would have to say that I am more motivated than I have been in the past 3 years, because I have a daughter to look after. Now, more than ever, as sad as it feels sounds, I want to be able to graduate, and get on to getting a career. Although, no matter what, I’m still looking at another at least 4 or 5 years, maybe more. Until my life dream is complete.

I am not going to use being a mom as an excuse to NOT finish my life goals. Ever since I was so young, I have always had a certain picture of how my life would go. I did want to have kids and be married by 25. [so I was 2 years early on that one...], but alongside the whole family thing, I have always wanted to apply to graduate school and law school, and hopefully one day be able to finish my doctorate. Its the only way I see my undergraduate degree being worth anything. Besides mundane government work….there is not much that I can do with my degree. Even if I wanted to work in parliament or etc., it would still be preffered that I have a Masters degree. :/ Soooo, thats what I am going to do.

Some people might think that it will be hard. Some have even laughed in my face when I told them I still want to go to law school. But I think being a mom gives you a sense of discipline that you don’t have being a regular student. I know that work and motherhood will be hard to balance…but as long as I have support from those around me and closest to me [which I do, 100%] then it shouldn’t be hard.

When I was a student I would struggle to stay awake until 3 am, and then try to wake in the morning at 8 or 9. Now its just life. Being a mom has made me more capable of pulling all nighters, which is a benefit to any student. Especially a student-mom.

As of now, I want to try to keep Mon, Wednesdays, and Saturdays as exclusively school/taking care of baby days….and keep Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and every other Sunday as play-days, cleaning days, blogging and extensive twittering days, or whatever else mom duties come up.

*Sigh*

I hope its as easy as it sounds!

Until next time,

R. Xoxo

Epiphany of Life...or whatever..

This blog post [unlike others] is more a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing….So unlike usually, I’m not sure where exactly to start..

How about with yesterday….I was lying in bed nursing N [as per usual] and I was thinking about life, you know how it goes, you just lie there and your brain jumps from topic to topic going over all the things you need to do, or have done, or should have done, or will be doing, or whatnot… Since I am starting school in 7 DAYS [yes..a week...] it was the main topic of conversation with myself, by myself, in my head. I was thinking about my recent mid-20s crisis and almost laughing at myself at the idea that I would actually have considered leaving academic world for something like midwifery school, as much as I LOVE the birthing process, and all the jazz that comes around with it, I’m more academic [than I give myself credit for...]. I live for research, writing, reading, lectures, seminars, note-taking, debates, politics, law. Ever since I was 10 this has been my dream [with minor changes throughout high school, but generally always had the inclination towards law and politics], once I enrolled in university, my passion grew even more. After my “crisis” was over, and I knew that I was going to continue on this path, I found myself asking “How could I intertwine the two?”…..law, childbirth, breastfeeding, parenting….without being a family lawyer? I didn’t think that it would be possible…until I found Sustainable Mothering and Feminist Law Professors. Both are AMAZING blog sites that have been nothing but inspiration to me since I discovered them a few short days ago. If it wasn’t for me tweeting about the possibilities of becoming pregnant while breastfeeding, I never would have received the response from @JakeAryehMarcus, and then never would have found her AMAZING blog, which will continue to be a source of major inspiration.

So there you have it, my life epiphany, which happened because of nursing, and twitter and social media.

Now on to the other 3 draft post I have saved…

Until Next Time,

R. Xoxo

Wordless Wednesday

Yes, My baby eats celery. Don’t Hate.