Keeping open doors

So much to say, and I’ve postponed posting too long due to #twitteringlikeafreak [I'm addicted to twitter hashtags, sometimes I find myself putting them in front of words and such in tet messages :/] so the babe will probably wake up soon….*sigh*, but I don’t want to do one of those 3 day long posts. Imma get ‘er done.

I have had a busy week! I always seem to have busy weeks..its funny though, on Monday I didn’t have any “plans” and I was realllllly bored! I kept thinking to myself, there is no Momstown this week, and no Red Tent…soooom wtf was I going to do with myself and the baby to keep myself from going crazy in my world of thoughts?! I did have a million and a half people to call Re:My Mid 20s crisis. I wanted to set up advisory appointments and call daycare, get subsidy forms…you know…..then the baby cried. So that hasn’t been very successful! Then much to my surprise, my week suddenly filled up! (mostly with stuff I had forgotten I even had to do!…I realllllly need a new agenda book to keep me organized…) That AMAZING girl AS that I met at Red Tent on Friday called me as G, N and I were leaving the mall after G’s Dentist appointment. I literally skipped and danced to the car because I was so thrilled, G looked at me like I had forgotten to take my crazy pills….We roughly planned to get together on Thursday (which would be tomorrow) but when I was talking to my Mom later on she reminded me that I had already scheduled with my BFF A to take her to her drivers test. SOOOO, I called AS back the next morning and we made plans for that day! She lives about 25 minutes East of me, and it was the most amazingly beautiful drive through the countryside. N was sleeping and she likes moderately loud music (doesn’t have to be lullabies! THANK-GOD) so i took the opportunity to listen to some old school music that put me in a really happy place. *sigh* I still get chills/want to cry thinking of how free I felt on that drive – but anyways, back to the main story. I arrived at AS’s house, (LOL, that spells Ass, but she is the TOTAL opposite, let me tell you!) and we spent the day with the babies and took a walk into “downtown” which is a strip of street with about 20 small locally owned businesses. We stopped at a small and quaint cafe and got some tea, and just talked and talked and talked. There is SOOOO much to talk to her about. She is relatively close in age to me, and we have the SAME parenting practices, which is hard to find in any Mom, let alone a younger one. My other friend L, who I have known since high school, is totally opposite to the way AS and I are as Moms. She formula feeds, her baby sleeps in his own room, she doesn’t even own a baby carrier, had a c-section, and uses disposable. We don’t have much to talk about, but still always have a good time in each others company because we were friends before so much hasn’t changed relationship wise, and mostly just complain about our DH’s. LOL. But with AS we could talk about breastfeeding, and baby wraps, our cloth diapers, natural birth, non-vaccinating, co-sleeping….and we also complained about our DH’s. [much to my surprise her DH is a well-known actor from one of my childhood favourite shows which I will not name because he "doesn't like stuff on the internet" - that's what he says to her when she posts pictures on Facebook - but AS and I agree, he isn't even famous anymore!....anyways..]. So all in all it was an amazing day, and I can’t WAIT to see her again I’m in “Mama” love….or something, lol.

Today, I had another date with a Mama who I used to actually party with at the bar [quite a contrast from the last time we saw each other all drunken and whatnot...now with babies, and she's pregnant with her 2nd!] we were never really direct friends, but hung out at the bar because we had a mutual friend [who was more like an acquaintance to me...but her BFF...doesn't even matter just filling in the gaps, ] We reconnected through FB and decided to get together to share each others babies. At first I was worried about going there for 2 reasons, a). She said she would bbm me when she was off work at 12, and never did. I had to bbm her at 1 to see if we were still on, to which her response was “Yea”….so I was all awkward because I didn’t even feel like she wanted me there, but then again she is pregnant, lol.. b) We were never really friends, and had never hung out besides at the bar, or when she would visit her BFF at my work [because we were co-workers, and that's how we originally met!]…SO when I arrived there, it wasn’t the most welcoming moment, [as it had been the previous day before with AS]. It was reallllly awkward at first, but as the afternoon rolled on, we sat on the grass in her back yard and just shot the shit about pregnancy, motherhood, and of course, the wonderful DH’s. Again, she lived North of me, so the drive there was mainly on country roads with houses that were acres apart from each other. It was really relaxing…I need more countryside friends until I am able to move there myself! [Until I am done school, I can't even think of moving to the country because there is not public transit to help me commute to school! ]

Speaking of school. A little update on my whole Mid-20s crisis…Its not really a crisis anymore. I am going to still continue forward completing my honours degree so as to not close the door to the opportunity of grad school and law school if that is really what I want to do. I am going to make an appointment with the admissions at the midwifery school to see if I were to take BIO and CHEM at the university level if I would be able to apply with them in the future, (which I’m sure I could). Then I will just take BIO and CHEM over the next two years as my electives and free choices so that I can still get my Political Science degree as well as leave the door open to Midwifery.

I was hoping for a more positive response from people around me, but reallly, only my BFF A was really supportive, even my mom was too busy playing games on Facebook to listen to me and help me figure life out. *sigh*….

If anything, the whole melt down has made me realize that I am too passionate about both subjects…and I’m wondering if there is anyway I could intertwine the two? Political Science/Law and my passion for birth and breastfeeding and parenting…….without being a family lawyer and having to see all the sad shit. You know? I’m sure you know.

I start my online classes in *gasp* 27 days! [26 days if you count today as Thursday since its already 12:45 a.m.] I am SUPER excited to get back to the [smell of] reading and writing, and fresh paper and pens *sniffs the air* YUMMM, but at the same time I am also worried that it will be a lot to handle with a 7 month old baby! I know I can do it though. If I could be pregnant, go to school, and work, I can go to school in online classes with a baby.

The past week I have been trying to stay up as late as possible and seeing how I manage throughout the day without G and taking care of N[since he is gone to work by 5:30 and isn't home until 5:30 sometimes 6, then by the time he eats and showers it's about 8.....but that's a whole other blog in itself..] It’s actually going a lot better than I imagined! So I know that every night I will be able to get at least a good 3 or 4 hours of homework/school in with only having to feed the babe once [or maybe even less by then because hopefully [*fingers croseed*] she will be eating less through the night by then because she will be eating more solids/baby food during the day? who knows..]

Speaking of the whole baby food, I have been progressing more, and getting a better response. Not so much spitting and sputtering now! She LOVES butternut squash and Sweet Potatoes, as well as freshly mashed bananas. and she doesn’t mind the Oat Cereal, but never eats more than 1 tbsp. I want to get some ice-cube trays this weekend [or empty one we have now] and steam some veggies this weekend and use the Magic Bullet to make my own fresh organic food. I know I will have the time to do it, so I figure it will save a lot of money, and we could realllllly use that right now!

Well, I’m glad to know that I can belt out so many words in only 45 minutes. At least I know that if I really set my mind to it [and know what I am talking about] all the 2000-2500 word essays [or longer sometimes] that I have to write for school will probably come easier than I expected. [P.S. this years motto is to TRY MY HARDEST AND APPLY MYSELF, I've been so slack the past 4 years, #I'mnotgoingtolie, and I still have a B+ average, but I want to bring it above an A so that I pass the bare minimum requirements for Grad school so that when/if I decide to apply I know I have a good chance of getting in ]

Anyhooooooo, Until Next Time!

R. Xoxo

[YAY, I finished a post in one day again! this is becoming my new trend! No more three-day-long-drafts sitting waiting to be posted!]